I wanted to take a moment to give thanks for the supervisors. I don’t know that supervisors are appreciated enough, and I don’t know what we would do without them. We start out by seeing these incredible trainers at the Externship and Core Skills, and maybe once or twice a year (if we’re lucky) get to see trainers at various trainings or events. I think of this like going to see Beyoncé in concert. It’s mind-blowing, the talent and conceptualization is off the charts, and they show you skill beyond what you even imagined possible.
But then I wake up the next morning and try to recreate it, and realize that I’m … not like Beyoncé. I’m doing a two-step in sweatpants in front of my French bulldogs and somehow don’t look like a being made of glittery magic and power.
As a gift to you and the world, I did not pursue a singing or dancing career, but I couldn’t give up on EFT even though excellence felt (and still feels) so far out of reach. But the divide is huge - how do we go from seeing what trainers can do to realizing where we are? Answer – the supervisors!!
I try to see my supervisor, the amazing Felicia Friesen, every week or every other week. During times it’s been 3-4 weeks since I’ve seen her I am literally crawling into her office, panting with desperation. Is this expensive to do? Yes. Have I been paying for one kind of supervision or another for 5 years including licensure? Yes. Does my husband hope perhaps one day we won’t be paying this much for me to have a career? Possibly. But I see it as an essential investment.
Felicia sees me in the weeds, she seems me struggle again and again with the same couples. She never gets annoyed with me or tells me I should know by now what to do with someone, even after helping me unpack their cycle for the 4th time. She gives me so much love and compassion, and makes me feel like I have a place here even when I feel so lost and frustrated with myself.
She’s been there on the days I cry in her office because of a mistake I made, saying something that turned out to be hurtful to a client. She tells me about her own repairs, and helps me see that this is a long journey of being human. She never heightens my shame, but also helps me see what we can do from that mistake.
On days I’m resistant, because I’m convinced nothing will work with a client, she’s patient with me, and lets me push back until we find a place that feels like I can believe something might work. She stays in the model, never pops out and says, “well, this person sounds impossible, might as well switch to psychoeducation.”
I just don’t know how anyone does this work without supervision. Even the act of talking out loud about a couple helps me process differently. But it’s got to be tough, the good supervisors must question and doubt if they are helping us at times, just like we question and doubt if we are helping our clients. So I want to say, for me, YOU DO. Thank you to all of you who are the lamplighters along the way. But especially to Felicia. Even though I’m certified now, thanks to your help, I’ll never stop seeing you. Sorry!!!
*Next post finishes the story of my certification!